Gambling nearly took everything. Here's what I wish someone had said to me.

For a long time, this is the part of my story I never told anyone.

The gambling culture in football gripped me between the ages of 17-22. Add in an extremely competitive, adrenaline rushing nature in there along with 2 releases and it’s a recipe for disaster. I was an addict, and I was spiralling. I hid it from teammates, from staff and most importantly from my family. That secrecy - pretending that everything was normal was the most dangerous part of the whole thing as it caused me to chase my losses excessively before anyone had to find out. Well obviously that didn’t work.

I'm not going to lay out the details, because this isn't about that. It's about the stuff I wish someone had said to me before it got as bad as it did.

The first thing: it doesn't make you weak, and it doesn't make you a bad person. Addiction isn't a character flaw you should be ashamed of. It's something that happens to a lot of people, footballers included - the money, the downtime, the boredom, the highs and lows of the sport all feed into it. Treating it like a dirty secret only makes it grow.

The second thing: you cannot think your way out of it on your own. I tried. It doesn't work. What actually turned it around for me was getting proper, professional help - people who knew what they were doing, who I couldn't lie to, and who helped me understand why I was doing what I was doing. Reaching out for that felt like the hardest thing in the world at the time. It was also the thing that saved me.

And the third thing: the version of you on the other side of this is worth getting to. I came out of it, went and got qualified so I could understand it properly, and now I speak about it openly - including with Sporting Chance - because staying quiet is exactly what nearly cost me everything.

If any of this sounds familiar, please talk to someone. Not because you're broken, but because you deserve to get to the other side of it too.‍

If you're struggling with gambling, the National Gambling Helpline (GamCare) offers free, confidential support on 0808 8020 133. Athletes can also reach out to Sporting Chance.